My daughter is 16 months old, and took her first steps last week. Although I have been waiting for weeks for her to get the courage and self-belief to let go of my hand and finally take those first precious steps… it completely blew my mind when it finally happened. In that one moment, I went from having a beautiful baby, to a walking, energetic and inquisitive toddler. I’ve had to spend some time coming to terms with this fact, and I have to admit… I have been a little bit sad about losing my baby.
This huge change has also prompted me to reflect on my own journey as a mother, and how monumental the last 16 months have been. Motherhood is a complete rollercoaster… just when you feel like you’re getting the hang of it, something comes along to slam you back down or turn you upside down. It is an ongoing journey of learning, growing, re-learning and re-discovering… both about how to be a mother, and how to be yourself. It has taken 16 months, but I finally feel like “me” again.
Although I have been working in some capacity basically since Stevie was born… it has only been the last month or so where I have had a routine that involved actually leaving the house to go to work. And for me, it’s not just ‘work’… it is something that I genuinely love to do. My business and the work I do brings me so much joy, satisfaction and a sense of achievement. I feel like a have a purpose and am making a difference. Although I get these feelings from motherhood, it is a different kind of feeling when it is work-related.
And now that I actually go to work, the time I get to spend with Stevie I appreciate and adore that much more. I am completely infatuated with her, in awe of her, in reverence of every move she makes, every new milestone, and seeing her cheeky personality shine through. Being back at work has made me a better mum, a better version of myself, and I finally feel like me again.
Now, everyone’s journey is completely different… but if you’re a new mum and still feeling a bit out of sync with yourself, I think it is important to firstly, check in with yourself and notice how you’re feeling. Secondly, start to put aside some time for you. What are you passionate about? What do you enjoy? What makes you feel alive, fulfilled, and satisfied (outside of being an amazing mumma)? When you’re ready, start to explore those aspects of yourself that are separate to you being a mum…. Because I promise you, when you find yourself again, life will be that much sweeter.
If you want some professional support to help you on this journey or re-discovery… please don’t hesitate to get in touch!